ASP. Можно ли что-нибудь подобное сделать на PHP?

Народ можно ли что-нибудь подобное сделать на PHP?

<%='<%'%>@ LANGUAGE = VBScript%>
<%='<%'%>Option Explicit

Dim strFileName
Dim arrHTMLFiles, arrDefinedTraffic, I
Dim lngIndexOfMin, lngIndexOfMax

arrHTMLFiles = Array(<%=strFileNames%>)
arrDefinedTraffic = Array(<%=strTrafficValues%>)

If Application('TotalVisitors') = '' Then
Call fnFirstBoot()
Else
lngIndexOfMax = UBound(arrDefinedTraffic)
Dim arrB, bNeedToClear
bNeedToClear = True
For I = lngIndexOfMax To 0 Step -1
If arrDefinedTraffic(I) > Application('arrTraffic')(I) Then
Application.Lock
arrB = Application('arrTraffic')
arrB(I) = Application('arrTraffic')(I) + 1
Application('arrTraffic') = arrB
Application('TotalVisitors') = Application('TotalVisitors') + 1
Application.UnLock
strFileName = arrHTMLFiles(I)
bNeedToClear = False
Exit For
End If
Next
If bNeedToClear Then Call fnFirstBoot()
End If

Response.Redirect(strFileName)

Sub fnFirstBoot()
Application.Lock
Application('TotalVisitors') = 1
Application('arrTraffic') = Array(0,0,0)
Application.UnLock

lngIndexOfMax = 0
For I = 0 To Ubound(arrDefinedTraffic)
If arrDefinedTraffic(lngIndexOfMax) < arrDefinedTraffic(I) Then lngIndexOfMax = I
Next

Application.Lock
Application('arrTraffic')(lngIndexOfMax) = Application('arrTraffic')(lngIndexOfMax) + 1
Application.Unlock

strFileName = arrHTMLFiles(lngIndexOfMax)
End Sub
%>

0

можно все

позвольте узнать что это за ахинея
<code>
<%='<%'%>@ LANGUAGE = VBScript%>
<%='<%'%>Option Explicit
...
arrHTMLFiles = Array(<%=strFileNames%>)
arrDefinedTraffic = Array(<%=strTrafficValues%>)
...
</code>